Asking the Confident Question: How Humility and Poise Help an Author

I’m thrilled to share that today’s post was written by Jessica Whipple, author of two children's picture books that were published in 2023: Enough Is…(Tilbury House, illus. by Nicole Wong) and I Think I Think a Lot (Free Spirit Publishing, illust. by Josée Bisaillon).

I encourage you to check out both of these books if you haven’t already, and be sure follow her on Twitter and Instagram!

Below, Jessica shares some invaluable insights and advice about putting yourself out there with both confidence and humility. It’s an honor to host here at the Kidlit Kitchen!

Take it away, Jessica…

---

You’re reading a blog about writing. And since I’m a writer, you’d think this post would be about writing… But what if I told you much of the time I spend as a writer isn’t spent on writing at all—it’s actually hours and hours of talking about myself!

If you’ve just started writing, that may surprise you. And if you’re knee-deep in your own author career, you may have already realized the same thing I’ve come to learn in the six years I’ve been at it: An author spends a lot of time networking and promoting…which means talking about oneself and one’s work.

Talking about myself has not always come easily. Growing up an only child, I was shy and quiet. Maybe I didn’t feel like I had much to say. As a teen in the 90s I think I felt uncomfortable asking things of people; I remember reading through The Assertiveness Workbook to hopefully improve in that department. Now as an author, it’s nearly required of me to talk frequently about myself and my work in order to share it with readers, connect with other authors, and further my career.

I hope this article encourages you to put it all out there—confidently.

My Mantra

In an interview once, I was asked what piece of advice I had for writers. My answer was “Just ask the question.” Will you consider publishing this poem I wrote? Would you consider stocking my book at your store? Is my manuscript still being considered? There are many questions to ask, and just as many reasons to hesitate and bite our tongues. Maybe we feel the answer will be no. And we know rejection is hard to handle. But isn’t the possibility of a YES worth the risk of hearing a NO?

If you’re thinking, Why would such-and-such publish work by me? Or, Why would my book be of-interest to them? that’s okay. You have to ask the question to answer the question! And answering the question for your reader, editor, or agent is the start of persuading them to give you a chance. That’s why I made a graphic that says, “As long as you are humble and respectful, ask for the thing you think you have no business asking for.” And don’t, for a moment, believe the “no business” part. It’s actually the very definition of our business.

Why the “Ick” Factor?

Asking a literary magazine, book publisher, or the owner of a blog to consider your writing for publication means you are asking the publisher to take a chance on you. I have found that this kind of appeal is not something I do in my domestic life. Going to the grocery store doesn’t require me to convince the store owner that I’m exceptional at using a shopping cart. Taking my child to the pediatrician does not require me to prove my abilities as a parent. Maybe that’s why for some people, it can be uncomfortable to advocate for ourselves and our writing in this way: we simply are not in good practice of doing so.

Asking for Attention

Here’s where it can get even more squeamish. Have you ever had to address a loud crowd and ask them to quiet down? If so, you probably stood up front and asked, “May I have your attention please?” in your loudest voice. Did that feel…okay? Or did it feel like something out of your comfort zone? Talking about yourself and your books is like this. The marketplace of authors, books, and readers is the loud crowd, and we have to pitch our ideas up and over all of it.

That can feel pushy at first. Self-centered. Why should someone care about me? Why should they want to read my writing? Answering these questions is key to seeking your audience’s attention. No matter who you’re speaking to, let whomever is considering your work know quickly and succinctly that your writing is worth their time. And tell them why. In my experience, when I can confidently advocate for myself and my work, the reader—agent or editor—will be more willing to entertain the possibility that it IS worth their time.

Asking for More

We have to ask agents and publishers to use some of their time to read and consider our manuscripts. That seems hard enough! What about when we’re asking for other things? When I started considering authors from whom to solicit book blurbs, I felt totally daunted by their longstanding careers compared to my own fledgling one. But I applied my mantra—I was humble and respectful, and I asked to be considered. Specifically, I told the authors what I admired about their work, why they might enjoy reading my own, and gave them a way to respectfully bow out if they felt it wasn’t a good fit. I asked for the thing I felt I had no business asking for, and it worked. It allowed me to put my books on the radar of authors I greatly admired and they shared their beautiful, encouraging words with my readers. This part of authoring has been truly one of the most humbling experiences.

Asking for Money

Last year I applied for a grant from the state of Pennsylvania (where I live) to fund a more user-friendly web redesign. I thoughtfully completed the requisite forms and answered questions about myself and my business, and I was chosen to receive the grant! The state awarded me $2000 to make the updates, in addition to printing some author materials. Even if you aren’t literally applying for creative entrepreneurial grants like I did, as an author you get to think like a grantwriter. Marketing our books to stores, pitching author visits to schools, and talking directly to readers at book sales all require us to present our books in a way that persuades the other party to make an investment in us. We must answer questions the other party will be asking, such as these and more: Why will I like this book? What will I learn? What will I experience? Will my shoppers like it? What will it help them to do? Talking about your books works well when you are truly anticipating their questions, even though you’re talking about your writing.

A Voice Among Many

There are quite a few thousand books released every year, which means we have to be marketers as well as authors. Store buyers peruse publisher frontlists to select books to place on their shelves, but with so many pages flying off the presses, it’s easy for booksellers to miss a lot of them. If we aren’t talking about our writing, there will be many people who may not discover it otherwise.

Final Word

If talking yourself up feels uncomfortable for you, you likely aren’t alone. We’re writers, so many of us are introverts! But I hope I’ve encouraged you toward growth so you can skip the assertiveness worksheets, stake a claim on your place in the publishing world, and inhabit it confidently.

---

Jessica Whipple writes for adults and children. She published two children's picture books in 2023: Enough Is…(Tilbury House, illus. by Nicole Wong) and I Think I Think a Lot (Free Spirit Publishing, illust. by Josée Bisaillon). Her poetry has been published in print and online literary magazines, and her poem "Broken Strings" was nominated for a 2023 Pushcart Prize. She enjoys helping authors along their journeys to publication. Jessica is represented by Emily Keyes of Keyes Agency. Visit www.AuthorJessicaWhipple.com for more information. You can follow her on Twitter/X and IG @JessicaWhippl17.

---

OTHER KIDLIT KITCHEN CONVERSATIONS:

---